The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Online Gaming Part 1

When I was thirteen years old, I heard the word “frag” for the first time. I immediately assumed, as most teenage boys do when learning any new word whatsoever, that it was dirty. At seventeen, closely huddled in a friend’s room, I felt I had finally crept into the appropriate stages of maturity to begin asking “adult” questions.

I kept my voice down, crouched onto the floor and asked the guys what it meant to frag someone.

gay mmorpgI kept my voice down, crouched onto the floor in front of the TV and asked the guys (cute ones, so keep at least one foot in the gutter) to explain what it meant to frag someone. There was complete silence for a good while, followed by what felt like hours of uncontrollable laughter… and then an explanation.

I did a double-take just to make sure I wasn’t being given the runaround on the actual meaning. It didn’t hurt that the guy offering the definition was cute, so a double-take would have been merited regardless. For good measure, and to confirm that the loose definition actually fit the term, one of them changed discs in the PlayStation 2 to Call of Duty. After it loaded, he jumped into Campaign Mode, and quickly scrolled through his inventory to an item called “Fragmentation Grenade.” Fragmentation was apparently too large of a word for our tiny, machine-gun-toting testosterone and energy drink fueled brains to comprehend… so the developers ever so kindly shortened this to a word with only one syllable: Frag. Dammit. It suddenly all made sense. All of these years of wondering how to frag someone in the sheets were now blown to pieces (much like a frag grenade).

Somehow, I wasn’t disappointed. Intrigued, absolutely. Like someone stranded in a foreign country, I wanted to speak their language. How many more of these words existed? I had to know. Over the next few years I worked on throwing myself into the console and online gaming world and began taking notes on this new-found way of speaking. It somehow smudged the lines between offensive harassment and honorable praise… and I loved it.

What came of my late-night gaming binges and random scribblings was the Hitchhikers Guide to Online Gaming, which is pretty much a glorified name for a list of short phrases and terms commonly used in most online games, and an extremely useful tool for anyone looking to get into competitive (or casual) online gaming. Remember the day it finally dawned on you what “A/S/L” meant in a chat room?

It’s a lot like that. But a lot nerdier.

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A Gaymers Crash Course to Online Word Play

Frag – Figured I’d start with this one… it’s the term used for a successful kill in a shooting game.

GG/BG – Good Game/Bad Game.

GLHF – Good luck, Have Fun.

Noob – Negative connotation, calling someone out for being new to the game. It’s not nice. Don’t say it.

Leet or 1337 – Short for “elite.” Usually describing a nice play, or skilled person.

ADDS – Additional monsters. Used mostly in role-playing games. “The boss just summoned adds.”

Aggro – Aggression. Used in role-playing games. If a monster is hitting you, you probably have aggro.

AFK – Away From Keyboard. I say this when I’m getting another beer.

BIO – Short for bio break. Lets everyone know you had to go pee, so they can all go pee, too.

CC – Crowd control. Using whatever means you have to whittle down, slow, or stop a large group of enemies.

FPS – First Person Shooter. Most shooting games fall under this category.

MMORPG – Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (World of Warcraft as an example)

GM – Game Master. Rare to ever see one of these in an online game, but they’re paid to keep the peace.

Grinding (Hah.) – Playing for hours and hours to finish one small objective. This happens often, sadly.

LFG – Looking for Group. Usually a shout-out to let everyone know you’d like to group up.

WTS/WTB – Wanting to Sell/Wanting to Buy. Self-explanatory.

And that’s it! You’re officially ready to embark into whichever online war-zone you’ve chosen to punish yourself with. Above all else… always remember: It’s just a game. GLHF out there, Gaymers.

Zane Hill

About Zane Hill

Professional drinker. Techie. Slacker. Gamer. Works full time trying to figure out ways to pry himself away from scouring Google for updated photos of Robert Downey, Jr.

  • obliviyawn

    reminds me of how long it took me to figure out what cut/uncut meant when i first started using the internet.