Jingle Fever

All Edna Jean Robinson wants for Christmas are nice ’n’ naughty boobs and a sickening holiday for the gayborhood’s students

Every Yuletide season, trailer park goddess Edna Jean Robinson (aka drag artist Richard D. Curtin) bestows Big D with two flashy holiday traditions: Her December fundraiser that helps the North Pole deliver badass presents to Oak Lawn’s schoolkids; And “Boobs for Christmas,” her bodacious carol about a girl with curves in all the wrong places.

Evoke magazine recently consulted with Edna Jean about her fetish for handmade gifts and asking Santa for something especially nippily.

Why does Edna Jean want big boobs? To fill out a sweater. Christmas is when we don our gay apparel, and my favorite Christmas sweater is emblazoned with snowflakes, ice-skating cats and jingle bells. Anyone looking at me can tell I’m a modern girl who likes to flirt. And a really nice pair of boobs would help me really shimmy those jingle bells.

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What Christmas presents does Edna Jean like to give?

Handmade gifts are the best. For the asthmatics on my list, I’m crocheting two-toned cozies that fit snuggly around an Albuterol inhaler. I’m also crafting glitter-and-styrofoam poinsettia corsages and matching hairpins.

What’s a good dish to bring to your boyfriend’s house for Christmas Eve dinner?

I hope to have a boyfriend one day.

What’s Edna Jean’s rules on holiday decor?

More is never enough — especially if it blinks, inflates or sparkles. But Christmas is all about going overboard on mistletoe so I can line up all the boys for some gnarly tongue-hockey action.

Tell me about your holiday fundraiser?

Seventeen years ago, I threw my first “Trailer Park Christmas Show” to raise money for needy queers — like AIDS Resource Center clients. This year, I’m helping the little rugrats enrolled at Sam Houston Elementary School on Throckmorton Street.

Edna Jean will perform “Boobs for Christmas.” And in years past, Edna has shared the stage with sexy queens looking like Mrs. Claus and little hardbody elves dressed in furry red-and-white undies. Everyone buys raffle tickets. Then Edna hosts a “Let’s Make a Deal.” All the prizes are wrapped. You can trade your prize for another unwrapped goodie — but you never know what you’ll get. Some win a $150 American Express cash card. Some walk away with a pair of tickets for the Dallas Stars. Sometimes it’s stuffed toy with The Grinch riding on a a sleigh. And sometimes it’s a gift-wrapped gallon-sized can of creamed corn. The best part is that Edna Jean sometimes raises $3,500 in one night.